Waiting………….

I spend my life,

Waiting for you,

Where were you?

Hiding in the Shadows,

Waiting for me,

You walked passed me,

Not knowing where you are,

You drove past me,

Not knowing where you’re going,

You have been there all of my life,

Waiting for me,

I to hide out in the shadows,

Too scared to walk into the light,

Not knowing the life awaiting me,

Would be filled with bright light,

Step into the light,

You have no idea,

What life is waiting for you.

Advertisements

26 Comments on “Waiting………….

  1. Good morning. I like your poetry; it is an all-too disarming reflection of om own deep recesses. However…. to give yourself credibility you MUST review and edit your work line by line, word and comma one at a time before publishing. This recent work is loaded with grammar and spelling errors. As a writer. poet, blogger I certainly make my share of mistakes and the only way to minimize imperfections is let the work ferment and then be reviewed at least twice before pushing the button.
    I’m sorry to offer a criticism but I want you to be impeccable with what you have to say. It is of value.
    A friend, Fred

    Liked by 1 person

      • Right then! Yes of course it is constructive criticism. I certainly appreciate any I get in my ongoing aspiration for improvement. You wouldn’t believe some of the pointers I’ve taken recently on my new video-making efforts.
        Here goes:
        I spend my life,… do you mean spent? Which tense are you in?
        Waiting for you,
        Where were you?…. do you mean are you? Which tense are you in?
        Hiding in the Shadows,
        Waiting for me,
        You walked passed me, …I assume you really mean past me?
        Not knowing where you are, … you were? Again, which tense?
        You drove past me,
        Not knowing where youโ€™re going,… are you would be stronger than abbreviating. Period at end?
        You have been there all of my life,
        Waiting for me,
        I to hide out in the shadows, …too or also instead of to.
        Too scared to walk into the light,
        Not knowing the life awaiting me, …suggest: that the life awaiting me would be stronger
        Would be filled with bright light,
        Step into the light,
        You have no idea,
        What life is waiting for you.
        Namaste, Fred
        my e-mail is svpaxboatboat@gmail.com should you want to chat outside this forum.

        Like

  2. Pingback: THANK YOU! (202 Followers!!) – December Rose

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: